Its safe to say no one reads this blog, for whatever reason it may be - great. I can use this to channel some of my pent up remorse.
When you work for something you love beyond anything, you put in your heart and soul. I created CTL360 as a channel for my creative freedom - working hard, working round the clock, working to make sure I excel at anything I do for my client. I have minimal rates yet I work 24/7. CTL360 is my life, I have one designer, and together we take on an unimaginable workload.
Sleepless nights, stressful days, yet going home each day feeling on top of the world, grateful to be given a chance to just design. This is my baby, my entire world. I am a visualizer, a dreamer - having to learn business development tactics alongside actually working on the designs has taken its toll on me on countless occasions. More than money, I work for the passion I feel and I take every project to heart.
I can assure you, it is not easy being a 26 year old female entrepreneur, in Pakistan. People constantly doubt your ability and waste your time...however when they genuinely like your work, skipping along comes money matters - make it lower, give me an 80% discount bla bla bla or if not money matters, they want to buy off your design for a fee and not give you any credit for it. And I don't know about you, but that just realllllly gets to me.
Rest assured, if I was a bigshot agency I highly doubt we'd be having those conversations. I would never sell my integrity for the greed of money. I'd rather not get paid than ever sell my ideas without receiving credit. This has been one of my recent moral dilemmas - though I have pretty much made up my mind. I am appalled that it would even be suggested, but this is Pakistan.
In Pakistan it is all about who you know, where you work and how you're going to stomp on others to get ahead. Needless to say my PR skills are close to null, I am a loner who prefers sitting behind my computer screen working, and if not working then learning new areas to develop my skill to get more work. Life is too short to waste on procrastinating.
People don't understand the time and effort spent in creating just one page of design, more over, they do not appreciate it. Appreciation is like 50% of incentive to do what I do... and lately I feel uninspired. People see my face and like magic they become poor. Shiny things, bling bling plastered all over their lives, and here I get squat from them. Maybe its me?
The reason why most of our local advertising is sooo roboticly generic is mainly because the creatives behind is are UNSPIRED minions clicking away behind a computer with no drive. Advertising is 30% heart, 30% idea and 20% design.
Ads/Designs without the heart look nothing more than failed attempts to sell a product or service, most of which people overlook. Most ad agencies give credit only to their top dogs, while the real hard workers are safely hidden behind closed doors, locked away in an airconditioned room where no one will ever know the agency's best kept secrets.
It feels great to rant in writing, feels like I'm getting through to someone even if it is merely a delusion. Not many people in my life understand what I do because to them I'm simply sitting behind a sexy mac screen in an air-conditioned room.
I not only take on clients locally, but also Internationally. Foreign clients are an absolute delight to work with, they make me feel good about every little thing I do - which is why I spend sleepless nights perfecting their work on their time.
It is a breath of fresh air, they pay on time and sometimes in advance without any hassle or negotiation and they understand the passion that goes into each minor detail. It is because of them I can sustain my business even if I am only making ends meet. There have been many nights where I've considered cutting loose some of my overheads, but every time I feel dejected, God gives me a surprise the next day....and if I've got HIM on my side, that's enough for me.
I never have nor can I ever play the cruel games of the corporate world, I cannot backstab, I cannot steal ideas and I cannot do anything that my moral compass finds off course. My conscience and gut feelings play a huge role in every step I take as a Business or Creative person. I am ready to work 200% harder as long as I get to keep my integrity intact.
I've seen people, families, siblings, friends - lose themselves over money matters, but if you take my advice, money is not life - find something you really love to do and dedicate yourself to that always ask for what you deserve in terms of monetary compensation but never get greedy, never ask for more than your share and always pray you can at least earn enough to survive. At the same time, don't be a fool, don't be such a gentle soul that people take advantage of you for their own worldly gains... know who to trust, when to trust and when to take a stand because once you get sucked in to the mind boggling twisted games, it will become you.
Writing these rants and just basic ramblings has really helped, I feel at peace right now and I got a load off my chest
got a meeting in an hour, so I'll end this blog here - ill rant again soon
bye blogger <3
